#4: Gay, Straight or Just Italian?

Viaggio Di Vanessa #4

So, I’m noticing a strange phenomenon occurring in Italy…

I see what I think is a straight man walking towards me. I’m about to flirt with him and then I stop and look again. Upon further inspection, I notice that he is wearing light green cargo pants cuffed at the bottom with orange and pink tennis shoes. I stop and think to myself, “The guy smiled at me and winked. I’m soooo confused! Are you gay, straight or just Italian?”

Case study 1
Cuffed straight leg pants? (He’s the guy that sort of followed me around. Stalker???) The cuffed pants, I just don’t get it. The fact that he wore no socks was a dead giveaway. Must be gay, right?!?! But, then why was he following me???

Case study 2
Who the hell still sports a mullet?!? This one is easy. Eastern Europeans, that’s who!!! Yes, the guy in striped pants winked at me. So, I booked it back to my hotel, threw on a dress and more makeup, because whatever I had been sporting was attracting mullets and striped pants! Or was he admiring that I had better hair???

Case study 3
Now, I’m all for a well dressed man, I am a hairstylist, after all. But, I’m also a straight American girl, I only know what straight American guys dress like, and they don’t roll up or cuff their cargo pants. American straight guys wear cargo pants with flip-flops (you desperately hope they have clean and decent looking feet) not pink and orange tennis shoes.

So, these guys all gave me the once over and they all smiled at me. Now, I know I looked cute in my dress and wedges, but were they admiring me for my style or my cuteness?

Well, my friends said I was going to get lucky in Italy. Well tonight, I tried, but I don’t think any of us anticipated that Italian men can completely straddle the border between gay and straight. How is that possible? How am I supposed to know which gorgeous Italian to have my “affair to remember” with???

As I make my travels here in Italy, I can totally pick out the American tourist straight guys, they’re wearing shorts and a sports t-shirt. So, I suppose in a pinch one of them will have to do. But, what about the Italians?!?! Gay, straight or just Italian? The verdict: #1 gay and Italian, #2 just straight, #3 straight, but Italian.

Well, as they say, “when in Rome do as the Romans.” So, if I come back to the States sporting green striped cargo pants rolled up at the bottom wearing pink and orange tennis shoes without socks, and rocking a new mullet, you’ll know right away that I found my straight Italian and totally had an affair that I won’t soon forget! Because I stole his clothes! Ciao Bellos!

 Click Here for “Viaggio Di Vanessa #5: My “Under The Tuscan Sun” Moment

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